So you've been out shopping for Christmas gifts I see
Well it's okay for you humans But what about a cat like me
You got an armload full of presents what is all that crap
Just a bunch of boxes that I can't help unwrap
Got set up a fancy tree that I can't climb up
Drinking lots of eggnog but don't offer me a cup
Don't give me any of that shrimp cocktail on your plate
Fill my dish with dried up Friskies and claim that I already ate
Bring in a bunch of string to make me think you've made my day
Just so you can plug it in and swat me if I play
Well I've had enough of Christmas and now you're gonna pay
I'll show you that it's hazardous to torture me this way
When I leave paw prints on your pie what will your guests all say
I'll run every pair of pantyhose that passes by my way
They'll quit eating turkey and that dip you just opened
When I jump up in their lap and pass some kitty wind
I'll snag the cashmere sweater of your husband's boss's wife
And make you wish your mother had never gave you life
When you throw me out into the cold you'll wish you'd kept me in though
'Cause I'll go and get my girlfriend and we'll yowl outside your window
So if you want a Christmas you know what it better be?
If it ain't make "kitty happy day" you're gonna hear from me!
